J’s Attic

Over on the board, J has a couple of threads going with some of his random thoughts. I snagged a couple that made me laugh out loud — enjoy.
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If I could smile, I would, but as I pull this ax out of your head, I can’t help but think, “Maybe I did order thin crust.”
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It’s like taking candy from a baby. Well, it’s more like tearing the arms and legs brutally from a baby’s torso.
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Living is like being dead, but it sucks more.
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I’d love to give a shit; I really would.
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When I drink and drive, I make sure I have a gun on me and good running shoes because I’m not goin’ to jail.