Forgive and Forget.
Forgive your enemies, for they know not what they do.
From Gandhi to Oscar Wilde, forgiveness being healthy is the theme. I call bullshit. If attempting to forgive your attackers brings you shame because you just can not bring yourself to let it go. You are not a terrible person. When you try to forgive when you can’t – you are not at fault. You are not wrong; you are not less of a victim – you are a human being.
You are under no obligation to forgive anyone. Although, I highly recommend that you forgive yourself.
Whether it was to comply with an attacker or smiling through the onslaught of hate at the holiday table, you did your very best with what you had/have at the time. When the voice in your head questions the things you endured to survive, that voice can fuck off.
You are the victim, and whatever you endured or participated in was one thing and one thing only – surviving. You did your very best, and there is nothing that you said or did at any point justifies the trauma that you endured. You were trying to make it out alive.
Please don’t let anyone shame you for surviving. Don’t take it out on yourself that others survived differently. You are here, and that matters more than HOW.
Stay safe, and know that you are loved.