I had a break down in therapy today. Cried and sobbed and cried some more. I thought I was past the disappointment of having to reschedule my surgery. But it turns out I needed a good cry. As I write this, I am tearing up.
For someone who has anxiety issues as well as highly sensitive traits the blow of working myself up to the surgery only to be sent home, no matter how good the reason was, was traumatic. I ignored that feeling. I pushed it down – angry and emotional – I thought if I ignored it and trudged on was for the best.
Plus for a week or more my left leg has been in knots, I think the stress induced a little fibro action. Add to that a heavy dose of antibiotics that are playing havoc with my serotonin levels – I am a hot mess.
I am trying to put things into perspective and not be the grumpy bear that I know I am right now. That is all I can do. I sometimes forget to be gentle with myself, and it comes back and bites me in the ass.